Many are infuriated that President Donald Trump continues to hedge on Russia hacking into our democratic process. This despite overwhelming evidence and unanimous reports from American intelligence. But does he know something we all don’t?
Even when grudgingly reading statements acknowledging Russian meddling, Trump can’t help blurting “but it could be other people also.” Such as? Back in 2016, Trump said the real hacker “could be a guy from New Jersey” or “someone sitting on his bed that weighs 400 pounds.”
Who could the president possibly have in mind? Oh my God—of course. It’s Chris Christie!
Would a man known for chasing a protestor down a Jersey Shore street brandishing an ice cream cone, or accused of shutting down the George Washington Bridge in a petty effort to get back at a Democrat who dared not support his candidacy for Governor, do such a dastardly thing?
Let’s examine the evidence.
Who was dying to be in Trump’s White House cabinet, only to be denied? Who led the chant of “Lock Her Up!” about Hillary Clinton at the GOP National Convention? Who is a bullying suck up, morbidly obese and lives in the Garden State? Bingo!
Because if it’s not Vladimir Putin, we’d better get to the bottom of this mess soon. The Department of Homeland Security recently announced that Russia was targeting the American power grid, poisoning it with malware. Director of national intelligence Dan Coats said last week that the current cyber threats were “blinking red.”
So why isn’t Trump reading Putin (or Christie, or whomever) the riot act? Hmm…
The rumor persists that Christie wants payback for his loyalty to Trump. With senior staff leaving the White House at dizzying rates, Politico recently suggested that Christie is “putting himself in a prime position to land a plum job in the administration.” He seems to feel Trump owes him.
But could the perpetrator really be Christie? Nah, he wouldn’t (would?) do such a thing, which means the real hefty hacker may still be out there. So if you happen to know of another 400 pound man sitting on his bed in New Jersey eating nachos while wreaking havoc on our democracy, please alert officials ASAP. Thanks!