Boom Jobs in the Trump Era

President Donald Trump likes to boast about the jump in employment since he took office. In fact, job growth is virtually identical to President Barack Obama’s numbers in the first half of 2016 — about 88,000 jobs added each month. But there’s no doubt certain professions are thriving under Trump. Here are a few:

Psychologist: While stress had trended downward in the last 10 years, levels suddenly shot up in January, according to the American Psychology Association. Hmm, wonder what happened then? Busy therapists are reporting a new type of PTSD (President Trump Stress Disorder).

Tiki torch salesperson: As neo-Nazis, KKKers and other anti-American vermin slithered around Charlottesville, they held their Tiki torches high, looking like lost dimwits in search of a backyard barbecue. To its credit, Lamplight Farms Inc. quickly distanced itself from the white supremacists, stating its “Tiki Brand is not associated in any way with the events that took place in Charlottesville . . . We do not support their message, or the use of our products in this way.”

Progressive cable TV host: For the first time ever, MSNBC has pulled even with Fox News in prime time viewership. Rachel Maddow has been averaging 2.9 million viewers per night, compared with 2.4 million for Fox’s Tucker Carlson, according to Forbes.com. As Trump goes more and more over the top, so do Maddow’s ratings.

Anti-anxiety drug makers: Sales are skyrocketing for medications that treat anxiety and panic. For some reason, immigrants and transgender people are particularly feeling a heightened sense of anxiety. But it’s not just about Trump. We’ve become so incredibly polarized in America that, when one side loses a major election, the other loses its collective minds. But it’s a win-win for the makers of Xanax and Klonopin!

Fidget spinner marketers: Originally a toy for children, fidgety adults are glomming on to the trend as a way to calm their jangled nerves. Even 11-year-old Barron Trump was seen carrying a red fidget spinner as he moved into the White House in June, according to Newsweek. Perhaps he can distract his dad with one?

Unfortunately, there’s one job segment that has become remarkably unstable.

White House employee.

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