Cake, Lies and Audiotape

While a paltry 18 percent of his fellow New Yorkers voted for President Donald Trump, we are all thrilled to celebrate his birthday. Assuming his birth certificate is real, Trump turns 71 today.

What’s that? You’re not thrilled? What if I tell you wife Melania’s gift to him was moving into the White House Sunday?

Which means we can stop paying six figures daily to protect her and their son at Trump Tower. Yes, the government recently allocated $68 million to help repay us, but whether we will ever get fully reimbursed remains uncertain.

Meanwhile, it’s a good bet Trump will enjoy a royal chunk of chocolate cake today. When the U.S. military launched a missile strike on Syria while he ate dessert with Chinese President Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago, Trump seemed more excited about “the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen.” Don’t be surprised if he has that same chef flown up to Washington to bake his favorite cake — hopefully not at taxpayers’ expense.

Unfortunately, Trump has bigger problems than cake on his birthday. He knows the story of his presidency has not been the majestic wall he promised, with Mexico paying for it (never will happen), or a Trumpcare health plan in which “no one will lose coverage” (24 million Americans could).

No, the constant theme of his presidency is unfulfilled promises and lies. Whether you believed James Comey last week when he said Trump told “lies, pure and simple,” or Trump when he insisted that it was Comey who lied under oath, we know that only one can be telling the truth.

Trump has now made a “100 percent” offer to testify under oath. If he does, he’ll be grilled about what he knew about secret contacts between his former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn and Russia, as well as back-channel contacts between that nation and others on his team. Did he secretly tape Comey? Then let’s hear it! If Trump testifies and lies, it’s perjury — and the likely end to his presidency.

Mr. President, it was bold of you to put that offer out there. Unfortunately, birthday boy, you can’t have your cake and eat it. The time has come to put up or shut up. Happy birthday!

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One Response to Cake, Lies and Audiotape

  1. Robin Rice says:

    I’ll celebrate the day the Washington, D.C., and Maryland state lawsuits against him based on the emoluments clause demand his tax returns. I’ll eat a good big piece of chocolate cake with a double-dip of ice cream on that day!

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