Trump Has Resigned! April Fool!

Nothing says love more than making fools of your loved ones. On Saturday, thousands of misguided mischief-seekers will attempt to prove both their wit and affection by pulling April Fools’ Day pranks on their siblings, friends or partner. A word to the wise: this can be carried too far.

For example, in 2013, 18-year-old Tori Wheeler of Oklahoma pranked her boyfriend, Derek Bauer, by announcing she was pregnant, according to The New York Times. When Bauer reacted angrily, Wheeler pulled a knife on him. OK, pretty funny so far. But Bauer then called the cops on Wheeler. Enraged at his lack of humor, she cut him on the neck, which required seven stitches. Arresting officers said Bauer also had two bite marks. April fool!

So no fake pregnancy jokes, OK?

What I suggest instead are tasteful pranks that anyone would appreciate. Rearrange a close friend’s furniture while he or she is sleeping, or better yet, paint it all purple. Surprise! Or move your brother’s car around the block, and when he reports it stolen and the cops show up, yell, “April fool!” That’s when the fun really begins!

In my old trade reporter job, we used to send the new guy up to the roof to wait for the airmail. Yes, just mean and stupid 364 days a year, but a real knee-slapper when pulled on April 1.

New York City provides an endless supply of opportunities for April Fools’ mischief. For example, the MTA can shake its humorless reputation by announcing, “No Service Changes This Weekend” on its website. Then when you board an F train to Prospect Park, it skips 12 stops and winds up in Coney Island, as the conductor blurts, “April fool!” (and May, and June).

Or maybe, for just one day, make all the subway announcements audible? How about beside the bike lanes, post separate lanes for tricycles?

But we New Yorkers are pretty savvy. Would any of us fall for one of these stupid pranks?

By the way, to gather material for future columns, the editors have notified me that I’ll be going on an around-the-world, all-expenses paid trip, beginning April 1.

Only three more days!

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One Response to Trump Has Resigned! April Fool!

  1. Robin Rice says:

    When I was a reporter for The Amherst Record (MA), we always had a special April 1 issue. The front-page story would be totally fabricated, but look so authentic most people forgot it was an April Fools joke from year to year. I remember that one year back in the 1970s we printed fake architect’s renderings and a detailed story about the huge parking garage that the town council had approved to be built in the center of town (entailing tearing down a number of historic buildings). It caused quite a stir! Fake news was fun way back then.

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