If the past is indeed prelude, 2012 will be a predictable, bumpy ride…
2011: New York City is hit by a hurricane and an earthquake in a single week.
2012: A Wizard of Oz-style twister hits New York City and lifts cars and Mayor Bloomberg ten feet off the ground. Later that week, 20 inches of rain and a tsunami submerge Staten Island completely under water. Republicans deny that climate change has anything to do with this, attributing the devastation to a vengeful God paying us back for approving gay marriage.
2011: In a novel approach to campaigning, Chris Christie threatens Iowa voters: If Christie finds out they didn’t vote for Mitt Romney in their caucuses, says he’ll come back and get them “New Jersey style.”
2012: On Election Day, VP nominee Christie uses his bulk to block the entrance to voting sites, asks approaching constitutents who they are voting for and if they say Obama, whacks them in the kneecaps with a tire iron, then growls “Who are you voting for?”
2011: President Obama approves a daring plan that results in the killing of Osama Bin Laden. Republicans react with a collective shrug.
2012: President Obama’s bold initiative achieves peace in the Middle East, getting Israel to agree to stop building settlements while Hamas, the Palestinian Authority and all Israel’s Arab neighbors declare that it is indeed a state and has a right to exist. Obama invites all Middle East leaders to celebrate at a Fourth of July barbeque at the White House, where they join hands and sing Give Peace a Chance, Kumbaya and Yankee Doodle Dandy.
The Republican reaction to this achievement is captured in a Karl Rove-penned Wall Street Journal opinion piece titled Obama Caves in to Fellow Muslims.