Things Real New Yorkers Can Live Without

Parents who smile benignly in restaurants or on public transportation as their kids scream at the top of their lungs or run amuck.

Knocking frantically on the door of a bus pulled three inches from the curb waiting for the light while the driver pretends he doesn’t see you.

Almost getting mowed down by a driver making a screeching turn on the corner, then always seeing a New Jersey plate.

Donald Trump, Isiah Thomas and “Jews for Jesus.”

Street Fairs, The South Street Seaport and Olive Garden

The RFK and Ed Koch Bridges (sorry, they will always be the Triboro and 59th Street to us!)

People who take the outside seat on a bus, then look pissed when you ask them to move over.

The 75th anniversary of the construction of the 2nd Avenue Subway.

Narcissists who chat on cell phones in elevators.

Out of towners who tell us how horrible it is to live here:

       At a Chicago dinner, an overstuffed businessman lectured me on how much cleaner, safer and more fun (no, no and no) his city is, how New York is a motley collection of  “foreigners” and “wise guys” and  how he’s “always thinking” about how lousy New Yorkers have it and how lucky he is to live in the Windy City. To which I replied “That’s funny–we never think about you.”

Ok, I proved his point.

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One Response to Things Real New Yorkers Can Live Without

  1. Robin says:

    Go, Mike! You can be my spokesman any time. I recently went down to South Street Seaport for the first time since it was made “new.” I’m still depressed.

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