Wow, it’s exciting living on the Upper West Side! You never know when self-proclaimed “proud liberal” Alec Baldwin will rudely elbow you aside to get to the front of the line at Starbucks, which recently happened to my friend Bob. Or discover the kindly “cowboy grandpa” around the block also runs the biggest prostitution ring in New Mexico (see archives, 6-23).
And what about that neglected eyesore home a few blocks down? Would it be a shock to discover it is owned by a certain bubbly morning show co-anchor? I’m talking to you, Ann Curry!
The $2.9 million dollar townhouse was purchased by Curry and her husband in 2003, and it wasn’t long before it received 25 construction violations, not to mention a lawsuit filed by neighbors disgusted by the non-stop noise and piles of garbage.
In response to these complaints, the Currys abandoned the home and now live comfortably downtown in Gramercy Park. Meanwhile, her home has been taken over by a squatter, which for some reason has made the folks living on that West 70s street even more pissed off.
“The Currys have virtually abandoned the building, and it’s become a major problem,” says John, a regular guy who lives on the block. “About a year ago, I noticed someone living there with no power and no light.”
When John confronted the man and asked what he was doing in the townhouse, the angry squatter said “Because I live here, ok?”
Asked for a comment, The Today Show said that Curry was currently in Somalia, and released a condescending statement so unintentionally hilarious it could have been in The Onion: “Ann is surrounded by dying children, heavily armed warlords and pirates. The townhouse is not exactly something she’s focusing on.”
Well excuse us! Would we ask General Patton to stop fighting the Nazis, come home and mow his lawn? Or child prodigy Wolfgang Mozart to stop composing symphonies and clean up his room? Of course not! Ann is out fighting the good fight, and we have the audacity to ask her to tend to one of her properties in our neighborhood? How selfish of us!
There are very few people whose lives we can actually influence: family; perhaps a few friends and neighbors. And yes, it’s wonderful that these celebrity, ”save the world” types have so much love for their distant fellow man.
But whatever happened to love thy neighbor?
Back to you, Ann.