Yippee, here comes the ice cream truck! What should we get? Vanilla pops? Chocolate cones? Neither? How about some oxycodone?
That’s right, in yet another “only in New York” story, a Brooklyn woman has been convicted of dispensing the prescription-only pain killer from a Staten Island Good Humor truck. The enterprising lass and her accomplice supposedly sold the pills at $20 a pop (sorry). But dammit, Good Humor? Couldn’t she have picked another truck?
And if you’re going to peddle drugs from a Good Humor truck, at least have the decency to deal pills that match the brand! Anti-depressants would work, but oxycodone? Sure it can cause euphoria, but more often brings on memory loss, nausea, anxiety and constipation, none of which I recall ever putting me in “good humor”–quite the contrary.
This woman was doing really well until some spoilsport turned her in. Dispensing medication from an ice cream truck turned out not to be the brightest idea she ever had, and now she’s doing time in the cooler (sorry again).
But what if dispensing drugs from ice cream trucks were legal? We all hate waiting on those long lines at drug stores, and the ice cream truck comes right to our doors. As long as there was truth in advertising and a licensed pharmacist was aboard, hell, why not? And guaranteed, when that Good Humor man pulls up with a toasted almond bar and a vial of Wellbutrin, you’ll be smiling all day.
But then what might Mr. Softee dispense, you ask?